Nicolas Cage – Valley Girl

Nic Cage Valley GirlI clearly must switch to single-strand stitching when I’m working on chest hair. Once I start, I can’t stop. I need someone to stand behind me, look over my shoulder, and crack me on the skull when I begin to enter gorilla mode. I might have to do this one over, but it’s still amusing, and that’s what this is all about – amusing myself.

As for Valley Girl, I didn’t see this until well past the 80s, and that’s probably to my benefit. I likely would have hated Julie and her friends if I had seen it when it was released. Of course, there is also the possibility I would have thought the movie was depicting completely fictional and made-up types of teens, as I did with The Breakfast Club. I had no idea that people like those portrayed in John Hughes movies were in fact realistic. I had no idea about suburbs or rich kids or cliques. I grew up in small town Iowa, where everything is a decade behind (probably closer to two decades, actually). I thought Molly Ringwald’s character was as fantastical as Yoda.

But I truly like Valley Girl. I like the Romeo and Juliet parallel without the suicidal ending. Speaking of the ending, I have been told the final scene has brought the most hard-assed man I know to tears. Maybe it’s because when Randy and Julie are in the back of that limo, all of the hope in the world is right there before them – they only have to reach out and grab it. Maybe it’s because Randy got the girl, and that is as unrealistic as my interpretation of chest hair. Or, maybe it’s because the aforementioned hard ass is really a softie at heart, who cries over things like sentimental 80s flicks, certain Bon Jovi songs, and puppies. Luckily, he cries the way that I drink – alone, privately, quietly – and I can’t be entirely sure that he has functioning tear ducts. That’s how I feel a relationship should be, and I appreciate him for that, among other things.


I learned the following from the commentary on the Valley Girl DVD:

  • Producers wanted this to be an exploitation film and insisted there be four boob shots included. There are indeed four boob shots, and all of them are awkward and weird.
  • Nic Cage, in an attempt to look younger for the role, shaved his torso except for one triangle of chest hair (in order to keep himself sexy).
  • My favorite line from the movie is when Randy responds to Julie’s break up with ,”Well, fuck you…fer sher, like, totally!” That, my friends, was completely improvised by the genius Mr. Nicolas Cage.




  1. THAT IS MY FAVORITE LINE, TOO! Quintessential Cage.

    Close second: “That chick Julie, she’s truly dazzling.” I like to think that my imaginary dream man would say that about me.

    Also, the best boob scene is when Dottie from “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” (a.k.a. the voice of Tommy on “Rugrats”) is making out with whatshisface. But mostly because she is wearing that sweet, sweet jumpsuit.

    Also, your buddy may have cried at the end of “Valley Girl” because of the reprise of “Melt With You.”

  2. You are quite right about that jumpsuit! And Melt With You is at the top of the list for best ending musical montage – along with Everybody Wants to Rule the World at the end of Real Genius, and Ooo La La at the end of Rushmore. Goddamn, I’ve got to get to that new Wes Anderson movie.

    1. 80s movies are timeless! Well, that’s not true, but they are awesome and span generations with their awfulness. If you have any other chest hair suggestions, let me know. I love stitching chest hair.

  3. Watched Valley Girl for the first time today as a result of reading this post. Congratulations on the chest hair and exemplary use of trivia.
    Favourite line of film: ‘is this movie in 3D?’
    ‘No, but your face is’

    1. Wow. Maybe I should try to use my power of persuasion for something more important than watching 80s movies? No! Nothing is more important than what I do here on Stitch Boom Bang! Needless to say, I am glad you watched “Valley Girl”, and that is indeed a stellar line.

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