Twin Peaks – Agent Dale Cooper

10670206_736805023036112_4682529766911646167_n “Diane, 11:30 a.m., February Twenty-fourth. Entering the town of Twin Peaks”…

Diane may be the most ingenious non-character ever to grace a television screen. Wait. She never does grace the screen. That is why it is so genius, dammit. I feel as though I know Diane, yet her absence is what makes her so special. I mean, I’m actually jealous of her. I want her job. I want to receive all of Coop’s tapes in the mail. I want to send him ear plugs. I want him to tell me about the cherry pie. That last one sounds dirty, but it’s not. Strangely enough, I picture Diane as somewhat asexual, no-nonsense, by-the-book, yet a humanitarian. Is that even possible?

Regardless, here is Agent Dale Cooper, stitched for your pleasure, as he surely tells Diane something incredibly important yet also quirky and mysterious. I still feel overwhelmed by stitching this series. I tried to pinpoint the six most important characters for a set of cocktail napkins, and it is impossible. Try it yourself – I bet you can’t do it. When you get to number six, you’ll think, “Well, if I include (insert name), then I have to include (insert name).” For once, I might be paralyzed with indecision. Actually, that’s a lie. I am paralyzed with indecision whenever I go grocery shopping. However, I am usually quick and sure with my decisions, even the big ones.

Now, please excuse me. I have to go adopt a Russian baby.



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