Elvis Presley

Elvis PresleyEveryone loves young, pretty, hip-thrusting Elvis. I prefer old, fat, jumpsuit-wearing Elvis. At first I thought that with age, his voice matured, changed, and even became more emotional. Upon further thought and discussion, it seems that his material also improved over time, and suited him better. I only know that if “In the Ghetto” doesn’t make you fall to your knees weeping, you are a heartless robot who deserves the worst demise.

Speaking of the worst demise, I dream of remodeling my bathroom in an Elvis theme. It would be nice to include all musicians who have died in a bathroom, but I don’t really like Jim Morrison or Whitney Houston.