geek

Spock

Spock doily

I’ve told you before, I’m not a Trekkie. Still, for some reason, the death of Leonard Nimoy was a bit of a shock to my system. Maybe it’s just because I fully expected William Shatner to be dead by now, yet his assholism rages on. Nimoy seemed to have life all figured out. Maybe I only say that because he dabbled in poetry.

As you can see, I could use some therapy over this loss, and I’m not sure why. Since I can’t afford a shrink, I stitched him up on this doily, where he is nothing short of regal.

If I were a Trekkie I’d conclude with some kind of relevant quote. Live long and prosper? Whatever. RIP, Nimoy.

May the 4th be with you…

May the 4th is a fake holiday I can get behind because I am not required to buy any bullshit Hallmark card, and I can celebrate Star Wars. Let the celebration commence!

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I didn’t quite have time to finish Jabba the Hutt, but it’s ok. He doesn’t mind because his nostrils look like sperm, his mouth looks like a mustache, and stitching those little plankton on his belly made me want to eat some donuts.Overall, a fun-filled project that I can finish up tonight. By the way, this is a tablecloth. It’s difficult to get the scale in this photo. Jabba probably measures about 3 feet long.

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And because I can never find matching sets of thrift linens (except for the magical Star Wars set), I paired Jabba with some other nasty villains from Return of the Jedi on these napkins. 

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Action shot! Potsie is full of vodka and soda, and he particularly likes the Darth napkin…

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Enjoy this “holiday”, everyone! It’s not every day that nerds are celebrated to this extent. Make it a good one.

The Greatest American Hero

Greatest American Hero

The Greatest American Hero was only on for three seasons, thankfully, because it was truly an awful show, even by 80s standards. The main character, Ralph, is a teacher who is made into a superhero by aliens. That’s an acceptable premise, but Ralph loses his instruction manual for being a superhero (what?), and he is a bumbling idiot throughout.

Why did I watch it?  I watched it because of the stellar theme song (Believe it or not, I’m walking on air), and as a youngster, I relished in seeing a grown man with a blond afro on my television screen. You see… I had a blond afro. In fact, at that time, I was just really growing into my afro, and it gave me hope that I could be somebody. Please see the slideshow below for visual reference.

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Isn’t that hilarious? By 5th grade you can see that I was already incredibly angry about my blond afro. That’s not even a perm, people! It is shocking how many times I should have died from embarrassment in my life. But don’t laugh too hard. I’m pretty sure that somewhere out there, someone is mortified by something you have said or done. It’s up to you whether you waste time giving a fuck. Excuse me while I fly away on a wing and a prayer.

Facebook Give-away

space invaders giveawayHey, Nerds. I’m giving away this sweet Space Invaders beanie because it’s two degrees here today and I’m trying not to let this winter crush my soul. Head on over to Facebook to enter. This is hand-dyed yarn, people! Courtesy of Malon’s Shop.

Star Wars

A long time ago (last week), in a galaxy far, far away (Madison, Wisconsin)…I stitched my first tablecloth and napkin set.

I started with a vintage set my parents picked up for me at Brass Armadillo in Des Moines. Have you been to this place? It’s 36,000 square feet of visual crack for the nostalgic at heart. Some people might find this place overwhelming, but my parents?…They got more shopping stamina than Picasso got paint.

Star Wars was a colossal subject for me to tackle. It’s intimidating, mostly because of all of the nerds out there who love it. I kept thinking, “Don’t screw this up or you will get trolled!”

I re-watched Episodes IV, V and VI, just to make sure I did not make any mistakes. For example, I stupidly thought I could include Yoda on a napkin, but he does not appear until Empire, which made Obi Wan the more logical choice. My hat model also schooled me on the order of the spacecrafts approaching the Death Star. Han is in the Millennium Falcon, chasing Darth who is in the Tie Fighter (not to be confused with a regular Tie Fighter with flat wings), chasing Luke who is in the X Wing, all headed toward the Death Star. I probably would have slapped them all on there willy nilly, but NO, it must be logical, he said. And he’s right, as usual, and I’m forever grateful for his advice.

I have two more tablecloths waiting to be stitched upon. One is lime neon green, and the other is sunshine yellow with a killer lace edging. Unfortunately, there aren’t matching napkins for either of these, which means I’ve got some thrift store hunting to do. I’m in no rush to stitch another tablecloth though, as I need time to bask in the magnificence of this Star Wars project for a while. Because, I’m telling you, that Death Star was a real pain in the ass. However, I do look forward to stitching Jabba the Hutt when the opportunity arises. That whole post will be in Huttese. Chuba doompa, dopa-maskey kung!

The X-Files – Mulder and Scully

xfilesI’m currently re-watching The X-Files, and I’m nearing the end of the third season. I’m glad to say that while it was dangerously close to jumping the shark all through season two, it has come back enough for me to keep watching. There is a formula – alien, murderer, monster, animal. But in the end, Fox Mulder is staring into my soul, making a subtle wisecrack, and I cannot forsake him. As for Scully, I don’t hate her, which is really something for me. In fact, I enjoy her earth-toned pant suits and inflated shoulder pads.

One thing the show has made me consider is what it must be like to genuinely believe in something. I believe in thrift store clothes and expensive shoes, what the Big 10 football tradition used to be, and that most people are full of shit (including myself). Aliens? Not so much. But wouldn’t it be nice to feel that you know something that no one else knows? To feel so goddamn right that you can scoff at naysayers without a second thought?

I don’t know. Maybe that’s too much responsibility. Maybe I’m better off admiring Mulder’s conviction while laughing at his quest. I mean, aliens? Come on.