horror

Scooby Doo

It’s another lacy vintage tablecloth project, because I love stitching something silly on something frilly. When I look at this one, my head screams “Zoinks!” and the theme song immediately pours from my lips. Unfortunately, I’m a terrible singer, and I’m not just being modest. I am a terrible, terrible singer.

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I considered making a set of napkins to go with this tablecloth, but I couldn’t decide on trippy flower-power napkins, or ghost/goblin napkins. Believe it or not, Scooby Doo was actually too scary for me as a kid. I couldn’t handle it until much later in life. Yes, I was kind of a neurotic kid. Accidentally seeing the Psycho shower scene on cable as a youngster scarred me for life. Anyway, the napkins didn’t happen. Maybe later, but for now, I’m happy enough to look at the Mystery Machine and Fred’s glorious ascot.

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The X-Files – Mulder and Scully

xfilesI’m currently re-watching The X-Files, and I’m nearing the end of the third season. I’m glad to say that while it was dangerously close to jumping the shark all through season two, it has come back enough for me to keep watching. There is a formula – alien, murderer, monster, animal. But in the end, Fox Mulder is staring into my soul, making a subtle wisecrack, and I cannot forsake him. As for Scully, I don’t hate her, which is really something for me. In fact, I enjoy her earth-toned pant suits and inflated shoulder pads.

One thing the show has made me consider is what it must be like to genuinely believe in something. I believe in thrift store clothes and expensive shoes, what the Big 10 football tradition used to be, and that most people are full of shit (including myself). Aliens? Not so much. But wouldn’t it be nice to feel that you know something that no one else knows? To feel so goddamn right that you can scoff at naysayers without a second thought?

I don’t know. Maybe that’s too much responsibility. Maybe I’m better off admiring Mulder’s conviction while laughing at his quest. I mean, aliens? Come on.

Silence of the Lambs

lambsMost people probably consider “Silence of the Lambs” to be a horror/thriller. I suppose it is. However, in my house, it is considered our vacation movie. Whenever we have a day off work or need to relax, this is our go-to film. It is dark, it is mostly quiet (minus Jodie Foster’s hyperventilating at the end), it is sad, it is funny, and it is weird. One overpowering reason I made this set was so that I could caption the photo with “It puts the lotion in the basket”. I mean, that is fucking funny.

I think it is wrong to clump all horror/thriller films into Halloween viewing. For example, “The Shining” is best watched in the depths of winter, and “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” is certainly a summertime movie. In fact, I doubt I’ll be watching any scary movies this weekend for Halloween, just as I don’t tend to watch holiday movies in December.

What do I watch on Thanksgiving, aka Genocide Day? I watch “Rhinestone”, the 1984 comedy with Dolly Parton and Sylvester Stallone in which Dolly (who basically plays herself) tries to teach Sly (who also plays himself, as a cab driver and a moron) how to be a country music singer. It’s horrible, and I love it. I’m already looking forward to this year’s viewing, as well as the pizza that will accompany it.

This makes me wonder if other people have movie-watching rituals. Do people actually watch “Born on the 4th of July” on the 4th of July? Probably not, because Tom Cruise is a lunatic. But how about “A Christmas Story” on Christmas Day? Or “Spring Breakers” during Spring Break? If that’s the case, I have no idea where “Rhinestone” fits into all of this.