A few weeks ago, someone on Facebook asked me to remove one of my posts that included a reference to Dicks by Mail, a site that will send a bag of candy gummi dicks to anyone you choose, anonymously, for a mere 15 bucks. I felt is was my duty to inform my half-dozen Facebook fans of this service because a) it’s fucking funny, and b) I would LOVE to get a bag of dicks in the mail (hint hint).

Now I am having a sale in my Etsy shop using the coupon code DICKWEED because a) it’s fucking funny, and b) I laugh just thinking of someone out there typing “DICKWEED” during their check out in my shop.

There you have it. I am a simple person, with simple pleasures. Go take a look at the shop. Type in “DICKWEED”. It will make your day.

Peg Board of Awesome

Sometimes a girl has got to get her shit together. For me, that time came about a month ago when I noticed how much of my stitching stuff was strewn about the house, from the coffee table to the stairway, even in the bathroom.

Because I can’t do anything in a simple, easy way, I decided to switch our office and bedroom to give myself more room. All of this was also very deviously planned around a blank wall space where I plotted a magical peg board that would clearly change my life.




And my new stitching station in its entirety…


So neat! So tidy! Don’t you want to sit down, have a cocktail and make something? Well, that’s the idea, and we’ll see how long this lair of organization actually lasts. I wish I had a “before” picture to give you an idea of what a hot mess things were before this make over. Just imagine a chest-high pile of yarn, thread, and tea towels sprinkled with sequins. That about sums it up.

By the way, you can’t see it, but there is a sketch of Liberace on that table. Stay tuned for some bedazzled fun.

Chicago Knits Magazine

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I forgot to tell you I had a hat pattern published. I didn’t “forget”, really. I just wasn’t sure what I could legally post since it is a print-only publication and there is nothing to link to online. Am I going to get sued for this post? I’m a risk taker, so let’s find out!

The Winter 2015 issue of Chicago Knits Magazine features patterns inspired by art deco style and architecture. I combined both elements and submitted a hat pattern inspired by the stained glass designs of Frank Lloyd Wright. I’m not from Wisconsin, I just live here, so I’m not actually keeping it real and representing. However, I do find Frank Lloyd Wright, the man and his work, to be fascinating.

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Stained Glass Hat – Model: Brenda Maben, Photo Credit: Chicago Knits Magazine


I learned a lot from my first magazine submission; mostly that if I can get published, anyone can. I don’t mean that in a self-deprecating way. I mean it in an encouraging, go get ’em, sort of way. If you have a pattern idea, you should submit it, submit it, and submit it again. Of course there are plenty of platforms to sell your own patterns direct, but there is something special about being part of a collection and seeing your nonsense in print. I tell you, I felt famous for at least a week or two.

If I could just figure out Twitter, I could take over the world.


You can buy current and back issues of Chicago Knits Magazine HERE.

Facebook Give-away

space invaders giveawayHey, Nerds. I’m giving away this sweet Space Invaders beanie because it’s two degrees here today and I’m trying not to let this winter crush my soul. Head on over to Facebook to enter. This is hand-dyed yarn, people! Courtesy of Malon’s Shop.

Bigfoot Hat


Is it a bigfoot, or is it a yeti? I called it a yeti and was schooled by my hat model, who claims that a yeti is snowbound and white while a bigfoot is a warmer-climate beast. My argument is that the silhouette is the same, but for the sake of all that is right in the world, let’s call it a bigfoot.

I received a special request from a friend for this particular hat, worn by Lorelai in an episode of Gilmore Girls. I like to be up to speed on all pop culture references, especially regarding knitwear, but I’ve never seen the show. When I mentioned that I should give it a whirl, she said I’d probably feel the same way as her husband, “annoyed by the dialogue”. Based on that comment, I quickly nixed the idea of watching it. Are there any fans out there? If so, please tell me if I’m missing anything.

Despite the show itself, isn’t this a fantastic hat? I was fully prepared to create a pattern based on the episode screenshot, but after some hunting, I found another knitter who already created a chart and posted it to her blog (for free!). She also sells finished bigfoot hats in her Etsy shop. Just for the record, my friend will reimburse me for the yarn, but that’s it. Only an asshole would use someone’s free pattern, then sell the finished piece. I’m not an asshole.

Links – 

Bigfoot Hat Chart by Woolly Rhino Crafts

Woolly Rhino Crafts on Etsy


2015 Vision Quest

2014 was a pretty good year. I stated my vision quest and I kicked ass.

What does 2015 hold in store?

  • I will expand my embroidered tea towels, committing to this first by purchasing in bulk. It scares the shit out of me to buy 150 tea towels, but I’m going to do it, and it’s going to be awesome.
  • I will commit to regular thrift store shopping, expanding my embroidered vintage items.
  • I will participate in more local shows. I did one show last year, and I learned a lot from it.
  • I will add new items to my repertoire: some paper goods, handkerchiefs, vintage tablecloth/napkin sets.

As you can see, there isn’t much knitting in those bullet points. Hence, I declare 2015 the year of the pompom. They are foofy, fun, decorative, and completely pointless. That is what I hope 2015 proves to be for me, and I will do my best to bring those elements to you through my nonsensical stitching.

Happy 2015!