nerd

Star Wars

A long time ago (last week), in a galaxy far, far away (Madison, Wisconsin)…I stitched my first tablecloth and napkin set.

I started with a vintage set my parents picked up for me at Brass Armadillo in Des Moines. Have you been to this place? It’s 36,000 square feet of visual crack for the nostalgic at heart. Some people might find this place overwhelming, but my parents?…They got more shopping stamina than Picasso got paint.

Star Wars was a colossal subject for me to tackle. It’s intimidating, mostly because of all of the nerds out there who love it. I kept thinking, “Don’t screw this up or you will get trolled!”

I re-watched Episodes IV, V and VI, just to make sure I did not make any mistakes. For example, I stupidly thought I could include Yoda on a napkin, but he does not appear until Empire, which made Obi Wan the more logical choice. My hat model also schooled me on the order of the spacecrafts approaching the Death Star. Han is in the Millennium Falcon, chasing Darth who is in the Tie Fighter (not to be confused with a regular Tie Fighter with flat wings), chasing Luke who is in the X Wing, all headed toward the Death Star. I probably would have slapped them all on there willy nilly, but NO, it must be logical, he said. And he’s right, as usual, and I’m forever grateful for his advice.

I have two more tablecloths waiting to be stitched upon. One is lime neon green, and the other is sunshine yellow with a killer lace edging. Unfortunately, there aren’t matching napkins for either of these, which means I’ve got some thrift store hunting to do. I’m in no rush to stitch another tablecloth though, as I need time to bask in the magnificence of this Star Wars project for a while. Because, I’m telling you, that Death Star was a real pain in the ass. However, I do look forward to stitching Jabba the Hutt when the opportunity arises. That whole post will be in Huttese. Chuba doompa, dopa-maskey kung!

Revenge of the Nerds

nerdsRevenge of the Nerds came out in 1984, when I was ten. My first memory of having any awareness of the movie came in junior high, a couple of years later, when two boys in my class became Lewis and Gilbert.

Craig and Justin were from a neighboring town that had its own elementary school. For junior high (grade 6 – 8) and high school (grade 9 – 10), kids from that neighboring town were bussed over to my town. Because of this, theoretically, Craig and Justin could have started their schtick sooner and I just wasn’t aware. Regardless, when I say these boys became nerds, I mean they called each other Lewis and Gilbert, they communicated with each other through quotes from the movie, they purposely tripped down the hallway and dropped things to seem more nerdy. Even while interacting with others, they mimicked the nerd laugh, the nerd voice, the nerd mentality.

While you might be thinking boys will be boys, and perhaps this isn’t all that unusual, you are right. However, consider for a moment that these boys, Craig and Justin, emulated Lewis and Gilbert all through school. That means they were nerding out for at least seven fucking years, maybe longer. Hell, maybe they are still doing it today. Now that, my friends, is some serious commitment to a shitty 80s comedy.

Craig and Justin, wherever you are, I salute you.